I lost all hope awhile ago. It came back to me when My Chemical Romance came back into my life. I am so inspired to be an artist or the front man of a band. I so badly want and need this. So many people shoot for this dream and are shoved to the back. Why me? Maybe they'll accept me because I'm not ignorant or naive, i know both these carriers are not only very risky but doubtful to become successful in, but i would rather die than have a regular job, or job that i hate. I simply will not settle to be average. I have been treated as different my whole life, I was always excluded from the "normal" people, why not now? The only difference would be that I'm separated because I'm put on a pedestal instead of put beneath one. Also maybe because i need music more than i can explain. When i sing i find myself in a trance, one filled with inspiration, hope, adrenaline, and love. No more depression for those moments. I feel no agony but a musical high. I need music. I need to sing. I want to leave an imprint on this world. I want to make an impact on peoples lives, i want to save them because i understand. I need it so i know i wont fuck up, because i know that I'm their idol, or that they look up to me. and i know that i cant do the "wrong" thing, because I have people who look up to me, and if i ever had people who looked up to me, i will vow one thing, i will NEVER just let myself become a drugged mess. I will try to never disappoint you. But so many try and so many fail, and it's a 1 in a 400 chance, but i can't see any other future, and i know for a fact that I'm not just some dream indulgent hormonal teen.This is my passion. So i pray to whatever non-existing god i need to, because this life is beginning to look further and further out of my reach.
Your the light to the end of my tunnel,
-Mirror Mayhem-
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