This Poison, These Pills, They Never Meant A Thing.

 Music creates a sensation I can not ever fully explain. It is this feeling of down right emptiness.

 Of passion, anger, sex, angst, depression, addiction, failures, insecurities, miserableness, loneliness, hope, faith,  happiness, belief, insanity, sanity, geekiness, content, horror, and the feeling most powerful,

 Music creates the feeling of love. 

Today, for the first time I realized I am in love with music. People plague my love for bands and music as a phase, or worse, a petty obsession. They cannot understand. This is not obsession, this is not a phase, this is a milestone. This is a moment, a freeze in time. This is me finding out who the hell me is. This is music. Music lasts a lifetime, and creates a feeling that lasts forever. A burn, a fire, it sets me off in a blaze of desperation, and faith, and hope, and anger, and every feeling that I refuse to let fill me. It sets off butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I am in love with music. People stare and wonder. For many of us, it is a phase, but for me it is so much more. It is a fiery passion, and explosion of emotion, and a dosage of what I need. These people can't see. can't feel the way I do when the music fills me. It is strange and I have never felt something like it before. It fills me up like the hollowness never existed, and winds me out like the hollowness should be there, and it creates this emotional let go, and sets an inspirational goal and sight for me. With music, if even for a moment I see something so bright that it burns to look at, and so powerful I feel sick and scared-

 I see hope, and I see a future.

I wish so badly I could say thank you to those people who have made this life so much better. This trip has been so bad and good for me at the same time because it had made me realize how unhappy I am, and it is helping me back on my feet again. So, if for one second you think you are better than the girl in all black with the band tee on that she never seems to take off, if you ever think that it is just a phase, or she is just some hormonal obsessed teenager with petty problems, then you are wrong. Because don't you remember your favorite band? Do you remember laughing at their jokes and quirks, and smiling when they did, and crying when tragedy struck for them? Do you remember your first C.D. that you never stopped playing, the one you still own today? Do you remember that first T-shirt you bought that you never wanted to take off again? Most of all, do you remember the day that you rocked in the dark crowd, crying and laughing, and exploding with emotions and going home knowing you would never be the same again, because for you, that concert was life changing, and even now you remember that feeling, that feeling of love, passion, and that feeling of belonging. So, next time you think you're better than the girl with the "Likin Park" shirt on, think again.

 Thank you music, Rock, and My Chemical Romance, for this bittersweet ride through Heaven and Hell.



                                                    Merci Pour Le Venin,
                                                        -Mirror Mayhem

 "Loving a band with all your heart is something you only understand when it happens to you. On the surface others can see it as a petty obsession, but they'll just never know the feeling of putting so much faith  into a few people on the other side of the world. It's hard to explain it to them, the listening to song after song on repeat, the waits for a new albums, the excitement and surreal sensation when you finally see them live. They don't seem to understand why the lyrics booklets give you a sense of comfort, or why you paste photos of them all over your bedroom walls. And they never seem to understand why one band could matter to you so much. And you think to yourself "Because they saved my life." But you say nothing because they wouldn't understand"
 -Alex Gaskarth

 "What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author was a terrific friend of yours."
-The Catcher In The Rye

"Anyone who understands how standing in a crowd of sweaty people, elbow to elbow, screaming along to the words embedded in your heart, can give you the most happiness ever needed. When you're shoved against a sea of bodies and you don't know what sweat belongs to you or your neighbor, you can't barely breathe in that moment, your favorite song starts playing and you forget about everything: all you're concerned about is the melody, rhythm, and the beat of the song all you care about is singing your heart out and knowing it's okay to love something maybe a little too much, as long as it's real to you."
-Gerard Way