R.S.V.P. For Tickets To Hell

 In this world I like to believe that Heaven and Hell are not an afterlife thing given by God, but an earthly concept that we use to describe our life. When we are born, we are usually in purgatory, this medium of not happy, but not sad either. It is a water colored middle. Boring, and sad. We grow up trying to get out of purgatory, because this is what we are taught to do. We are always told to set goals, set standards, set up a plan, be better, try harder, work harder, think deeper, make better grades, do better quality, be perfect like God, be perfect like Mother Mary, never sin like Jesus, etc. It is this roundabout circle of the same things, pounded into our brains with brutal force. So because of this, that is what we strive to be. We spend our whole lives disappointed in ourselves because we think, or are told, that we can do better. We feel as though we haven't met a certain standard that simply does not exist. We are trying so desperately to just scratch the surface of what we consider Heaven. A happiness, a bliss, a content world. Yet we fail, and try again. It becomes a depressing circle of trying so hard only to be shot down without a second thought of sweet sympathy. For some of us, we finally get there, for others we stay in a washed out middle, and then there is the unlucky majority of us. We fight and claw trying so damn hard to get just a taste of Heaven's sickly sweet taste on our bitter tasting tongues.

Yet, though we try the hardest, we are shot down time after time. Slowly, we began to lose steam, we begin to lose hope that we will ever make it to Heaven, and you wonder, 'If I deserved to be in Heaven. wouldn't I be there?' This dreadful thought is the final thing we need. We are burdened with a painfully heavy wait of hopelessness, depression, disappointment, failure, and sadness. These are to heavy for us to carry and we are dragged into what we all fear: Hell. We drag through our lives, painfully at the least. The weight still  is solely carried on our shoulders. We scream, cry and beg for help, but the hero's are just to high to hear our constant pleas. These screams turn to pleas, pleas to whimpers, and whimpers to silent prayers to a God we don't believe in. This endless cycle of heart shattering pain can lead

to something heartbreaking to us all: Suicide. That is what it drives us to, insanity, and depression. You feel yourself and everything crumble around you. You are breaking beneath the weight. You just want to end it, make all this needless pain go away, and let your tears escape your eyes, and they nearly do. But just as you are at your weakest someone kicks you in the stomach and tells you to suck it up, and so you do. That is the life for a kid that never got a taste of  Heaven. Some of us break free, we make it. Some of us forever stay in the murky darkness of Hell, and some of us finalize our lives with the letter on your wrists.

 "...and you can sleep in a coffin but the past ain't through with you"
 -Kill All Your Friends (My Chemical Romance, The Black Parade B-Side)










                                                       Tragic with a capital T,
                                                         -Mirror Mayhem