Suicide letters

    I never thought my life would boil down to the simplicity of a suicide letter. I wanted to sing, I wanted to inspire people, I wanted to save lives, I wanted to have my band. I wanted us to make it big, to be "That band that saves lives" I wanted us to crush the rules, and make our own road. I wanted to paint. I yearned to create a masterpiece with a swish of a brush. I burn to let the mental stories, memories, and nightmares come out on the canvas  I knew that those two were my only escape. I know it is still. But that wait is too long and I don't want to Wait anymore; I need it now. I want to escape this torture that washes into me. I want to skip middle school, i wanted to skip high school. I want to go to art school and make music. I wanted My Chemical Romance to hear my music, and like it. I wanted to meet the four men who saved me repeatedly. Unfortunately, no one could save me from this, because I have been in this hole since 2011 and its been getting deeper. I am already mentally 6 feet under, all I need is my body to catch up. So this is my goodbye, because I can't stop the addiction of a blade at my wrist. The pleasure of seeing my blood seep through my self induced wounds. The releasement of stress, pain, and agony.
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
 Well, I don't think so. You see, I'm depressed and its obvious its always going to be this way. Sure I'll be happy for a little while but it always creeps back into my mind invading my happy thoughts with its poisonous words of hate. My spirit has been poked, prodded, and torn, my heart stolen out of my chest, my mind lost. No long list of people I loved needed. You people who were there for me know who you are. Don't cry, save those tears for a funeral of someone whose ending was a tragedy and not a planned event. Mine was purposely. It was MY choice. So save your water works for a tragedy. Blow a kiss into those methane skies for me?


 This is an old suicide letter i never fulfilled.


                                                      You're the Dr. to my Pepper,
                                                          -Mirror Mayhem-