Silence Speaks.

"Silence Speaks"

-A My Chemical Romance fanfiction by Mirror Mayhem

  

      That day would deffinately be considered the best day of my natural born life. I had waited for 3 hours to go into a shitty small venue to see My Chemical Romance. We moshed and they trashed and played and jumped and kicked, punched, laughed, screamed, they did what MCR does. At the end of the concert, after all the insane moshing had ended, 30 people from the back row were selected to go meet MCR behind the venue, in the parking lot. I was one of those few. We walked to the empty parking lot and the fans screamed and fangirled together. I just smiled and sat down on the cement block that elevated the fence. I didn't want to meet MCR. That was a lie, because I did, but not like this. I didn't want to shove a peice of paper in their face that they will have 10 seconds to absorb before they hand the uselessly autograped paper back. No, I just wanted to watch them. Not in a creepy stalker way, just the way you watched birds. You admire them, but don't touch. So I kept quiet and alone about 6 feet from the crowds of girls and men. I loved watch their quirks, to see their eyes light up. To see them smile or laugh. I enjoyed seeing others happy, I really did. Other's joy made me feel better than my own.The crowd begin to thin and each member was only surrounded by maybe 3 girls/guys each. A girl in a MCR shirt and black skinnies walked up to me. "Hey where's your mom?" She questioned. I narrowed my eys a bit because I hated people like this, nosy people. "She is gone, I live with my grandparents" I replied in a monotone voice. "I wish I lived with my grandparents!" She exclaimed. I snapped my head towards her and felt a fire of rage and a tinge of jealousy flurry inside me. "You are so ungrateful! Do you have any idea what I would do to live with my parents?! Of course you don't! I would do anything for a tinge of normal, anything! My whole life feels like a scene from "The Young and the Restless"! Nononononono, not me! No I had to get a drug adict, prostitute,abusing, heartless mom and a drug dealing meth adict who thought I was a woman who deserved sex at 8! I bet you have told your parents you hate them, and all they did was say no. My mom forced me to help her with prostitution, and beat me, my dad was no better, yet I have never! Ever! Said I hate them. You are so ignorant towards the luck you have!" I hissed. I wasn't yelling because that was not in my nature. It was like a stage whisper. I looked up and said "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that; bad night, sorry" When I looked around I saw the girl backing away and everyones eyes set on me, even my hero's. I looked at my feet because I didn't want sympathy or attention. I had just wanted to watch. I heard footsteps come near me and a hand fall on my shoulder. I looked up and almost shit my pants because there stood Gerard Way infront of me, his lips pressed into a thin line, Mikey Way's hand was resting on my shoulder, Ray Toro was on the oppisite shoulder and Frank was next to Gerard. They all shared the same saddened glaze over their eyes "Hi" Mikey said quietly. I looked up and screwed my eyes shut really tight before opening them and seeing the men still infront of me. "Shit" I mumbled. "Why didn't you meet us?" Frank asked earnistly. I sighed and pondered for awhile if I should tell them. "I am an observer. I watch. I watch the other girls scream about Gerard and Frank and Mikey and Ray, and I watch when they meet you and they cry and laugh and smile these smiles that say they have never been so happy in their shitty lives. I watch other's happiness and it makes me happy. Autographs mean nothing. They are only a name scribbled on paper, useless. I didn't need that as a memory, I had my mind. It would have been rushed and you wouldn't even barely see me. I thought to myself "What is the point of meeting my hero's if I don't get to tell them so, and I don't get to explain." There is none. So I watch. I was happy to watch you guys smile and laugh. And I was scared too., because I don't know what's worse, you not knowing I exsist because you never had a chance to, or you not knowing I exsist because I wasn't important enough to remember." I answered quietly and then covered my mouth in shock of the words that I just spilled to my favorite band. My favorite band. My mind began to processes the situation. I am talking to my favorite band! "Wow." Frank and Gerard said in union. "Amen" Ray agreed. Mikey smiled at me and pulled me into a tight embrace. For once things felt okay.

At the end of the night, I had met the 4(5 actually because I loved their body gaurd who almost killed a guy on the street while I was hailing a cab caue he ran into me) I got Mikey's email and number along with Gerard and Franks skype and email. I got Ray's X-BOX live screen name after I swore to secrecy. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. They helped me move out and now 4 months later I live in California a few blocks down from Gerard. I babysit Bandit weekly. I see Frank and Ray alot, they are currently trying to teach me guitar while Lindsey and Mikey are the same on bass. Gerard helped me on painting skills and I now attend art school. After they broke recently, the fans hearts shattered, but they didn't understand. You can't be sad that a band is over, you can only be lucky you were along for the ride. The ups and downs and swirls. The mountfunctions and the sweaty smelly throw up moments and the happy top of the world moments and everything in-between. You witnessed and helped create a beautiful work of art, and now that it is done, we can only bask in its beauty. Life is looking bright, and for once, I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Notes

I wrote this for the still-mouring MCR fans. I was inspired by this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Ud0dDNvf75U

                                       You're the rock to my roll!,
                                             -Mirror Mayhem-