yes, this is about you- don't get too excited

the world is so deranged
so full of thick, black, tar
people are hurt by who they love
someone somewhere who only wants to live currently
contemplates how to die
he's been low all his life but,
he'll be damned if he doesn't hang high above all else once this knot is tied

how ironic

but then enters you
you with wild colored hair
you with freckles so flawlessly dusted across your nose
and you are so strange
so hidden
long sleeves, sad eyes
you say "do not be attached to me"
with flashing neon signs

...so I talk to you
of course

I
haven't had you
for
long at all but
you're smiling so much
so often
you once were a gravestone waiting to be placed
but look at you now!
you're face is so full of life
you've stopped waging war at your own arms
and

to tell you honestly,
you have made me more myself than i ever have been
I
haven't picked up a book in so long
but I've got three of your choice
jammed between my thighs
I
will not lie to you
I'm
scared out of my mind
but
so are you
the
odds are against us
and we both know too well
these things can go so wrong
so quickly

finding you
concealed between pages in these books
peeling back the layers and walls you put up for yourself
giving you
my poetry
my words

you are here
and holding me
and I feel nothing
but
placid
tranquil
enveloped in your arms
buried in your neck
while you squeal
-how cute

when
at some point
if
we end this
I hope we remain friends
I
hope I've changed you
for the better
like i
promised I would

I know you
have scars
and healing wounds
I won't kiss them better
but I have never seen more beauty
more vulnerable, open-ended love
like I've seen in you

i
will make you feel beautiful again
if it's all that I do