Uhg. Pizza Hut man.

When I talk on the phone, I am the awkwardest person you could ever hear.

Seriously, before I call, I plan out what I am going to say.

How a normal functioning human beings do it:

"How much is the vegetarian pizza?"

"A medium is 12.99"

"And how long are you open?"

"Until 9 AM mamm"

"Thank you."

"No problem!" 

How me, the failure of life does it:

First, I have to pep talk myself.

"Okay, just say "Hi. How much are the Vegetarian pizzas?" Don't freak out okay, okay. Dial the number."

This cues the 5 minute process of me looking at the phone and back 5 times to make sure I have the number right.

Then, after this, I press: CALL

Ring.

"Hi. How much are the Vegetarian pizzas?"

Ring.

"Hi. How much are the Vegetarian pizzas?"

Ring.

"Hi. How much are the Vegetarian pizzas?"

"Pizza Hut, how may I help you"

"Hi. How much are the Vegetarian pizzas?"

"Uhhh, uhm, Urr, Shit. Um, how much is the Veggie pizza?"

"12.99 for a medium."

"Err, uhm okay"

This, cues me hanging up and then remembering I forgot to ask how long they're open. I then face palm and settle for coffee because I don't want to bother them again.

Mayhem